Unspoken

There's too much unspoken between us.

It's been so long. And still,
when you spoke to me that way
you brought an ache to me.
.

Miss My Weekend Already

I miss my weekend already...Last weekend was so much fun it passes by too fast.


Catch up with my frens at Timbre and i really enjoy myself chilling out there. The pizza was superb and the band was cool. I heard a song which somehow caught on me. It's called I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. It's such a cheerful and uplifting song i just feel happy listening to it. :) Actually, i tried to purchase the song through iTunes but wasn't allowed as they restrict purchase for US resident. Dunno why.


And i'm inspired to improve my golf again! Went to jb for a round of golf with my uni frens. Set off in the late morning to have a good lunch there before going for the golf. We purposely choose the afternoon timeslot as we reckon the good golfers go in the early morning so we'll be less stressful if we play in the afternoon slot. Anyway, the weather was cool and the scenery was wonderful. It just felt so relaxing and for me, it's like an adventure. haha. And of course, it was great i didn't have to drive. I really prefer to be chauffeured.


And we managed to catch the Madagascar Escape2 Africa and it didn't disappoint. I love the penguines!


And here's me at YF's symphony concert on Sun: Music in Harmony.

If I'm Retrenched

If i'm retrenched, i'll take it as a sabbatical for a year to catch up with ME myself.

1. I'll work on my web project which is currently on stall.
2. I'll spend time on options trading
3. I'll complete the remaining modules of my post grad dip in Global Marketing
4. I'll take more dance classes and learn how to dance really well.
5. More vacations and travels and drag mom for a vacation. She's always turning me down.
6. Books!!!
7. Learn to speak French really well.
8. Take up a professional photography course. And more travels to take more photos. :)
9. Spend time with important people in my life
10. Volunteering
11. Take up tourist guide license.
12. Go to the beach, park, rollerbade, tennis, write, movies... wow :))


Think i'll be totally broke by the end of it. But i'm really excited just by the thought of it. Heehee. Suddenly, one year seem a little short. Time is the greatest luxury!


Oh yes. And a colleague has a good suggestion to me the other day. He was telling me " ... luckily you are single. Still got chance to find a rich man. Lifelong career. Next time dun need to work liao. Must focus!.."

Haha. We all had a good laugh over this and everyone chipped in on all the things one can enjoy if one is a rich TaiTai and started offering all sorts of suggestions on ways to find a rich man. It was so funny. We all can afford to daydream and joke a little during bad times like this.

The US Recession

Someone sent me this article. The article's a little long but it's a great analogy explaining the idea of how the credit crunch develops.

Once there was a little island country. The land of this country was the tiny island itself. The total money in circulation was 2 dollars as there were only two pieces of 1 dollar coins circulating around.

(1) There were 3 citizens living on this island country. A owned the land. B and C each owned 1 dollar.

(2) B decided to purchase the land from A for 1 dollar. So, now A and C own 1 dollar each while B owned a piece of land that is worth 1 dollar.

* The net asset of the country now = 3 dollars.

(3) Now C thought that since there is only one piece of land in the country, and land is non producible asset, its value must definitely go up. So, he borrowed 1 dollar from A, and together with his own 1 dollar, he bought the land from B for 2 dollars.

*A has a loan to C of 1 dollar, so his net asset is 1 dollar.

* B sold his land and got 2 dollars, so his net asset is 2 dollars.

* C owned the piece of land worth 2 dollars but with his 1 dollar debt to A, his net residual asset is 1 dollar.

* Thus, the net asset of the country = 4 dollars.

(4) A saw that the land he once owned has risen in value. He regretted having sold it. Luckily, he has a 1 dollar loan to C. He then borrowed 2 dollars from B and acquired the land back from C for 3 dollars. The payment is by 2 dollars cash (which he borrowed) and cancellation of the 1 dollar loan to C. As a result, A now owned a piece of land that is worth 3 dollars. But since he owed B 2 dollars, his net asset is 1 dollar.

* B loaned 2 dollars to A. So his net asset is 2 dollars.

* C now has the 2 coins. His net asset is also 2 dollars.

* The net asset of the country = 5 dollars. A bubble is building up.

(5) B saw that the value of land kept rising. He also wanted to own the land. So he bought the land from A for 4 dollars. The payment is by borrowing 2 dollars from C, and cancellation of his 2 dollars loan to A.

* As a result, A has got his debt cleared and he got the 2 coins. His net asset is 2 dollars.

* B owned a piece of land that is worth 4 dollars, but since he has a debt of 2 dollars with C, his net Asset is 2 dollars.

* C loaned 2 dollars to B, so his net asset is 2 dollars.

* The net asset of the country = 6 dollars; even though, the country hasonly one piece of land and 2 Dollars in circulation.

(6) Everybody has made money and everybody felt happy and prosperous.

(7) One day an evil wind blew, and an evil thought came to C's mind. 'Hey, what if the land price stop going up, how could B repay my loan. There is only 2 dollars in circulation, and, I think after all the land that B owns is worth at most only 1 dollar, and no more.'

(8) A also thought the same way.

(9) Nobody wanted to buy land anymore.

* So, in the end, A owns the 2 dollar coins, his net asset is 2 dollars.

* B owed C 2 dollars and the land he owned which he thought worth 4 dollars is now 1 dollar. So his net asset is only 1 dollar.

* C has a loan of 2 dollars to B. But it is a bad debt. Although his net asset is still 2 dollars, his heart is palpitating.

* The net asset of the country = 3 dollars again

(10) So, who has stolen the 3 dollars from the country? Of course, before the bubble burst B thought his land was worth 4 dollars. Actually, right before the collapse, the net asset of the country was 6 dollars on paper. B's net asset is still 2 dollars, his heart is palpitating.

(11) B had no choice but to declare bankruptcy. C as to relinquish his 2 dollars bad debt to B, but in return he acquired the land which is worth 1 dollar now.

* A owns the 2 coins, his net asset is 2 dollars.

* B is bankrupt, his net asset is 0 dollar. (he lost everything)

* C got no choice but end up with a land worth only 1 dollar

* The net asset of the country = 3 dollars.

************ **End of the story; BUT ************ ********* ******

There is however a redistribution of wealth.A is the winner, B is the loser, C is lucky that he is spared.

A few points worth noting -

(1) When a bubble is building up, the debt of individuals to one another in a country is also building up.

(2) This story of the island is a closed system whereby there is no other country and hence no foreign debt. The worth of the asset can only be calculated using the island's own currency. Hence, there is no net loss.

(3) An over-damped system is assumed when the bubble burst, meaning the land's value did not go down to below 1 dollar.

(4) When the bubble burst, the fellow with cash is the winner. The fellows having the land or extending loan to others are the losers. The asset could shrink or in worst case, they go bankrupt.

(5) If there is another citizen D either holding a dollar or another piece of land but refrains from taking part in the game, he will neither win nor lose. But he will see the value of his money or land go up and down like a see saw.

(6) When the bubble was in the growing phase, everybody made money.

(7) If you are smart and know that you are living in a growing bubble, it is worthwhile to borrow money (like A) and take part in the game. But you must know when you should change everything back to cash.

(8) As in the case of land, the above phenomenon applies to stocks as well.

(9) The actual worth of land or stocks depend largely on psychology

Season of Retrenchment

My friend sms me this morning that his company is retrenching lots of people. It will be a massive cut, 30% for now and another 30% if they are still losing money in Dec.

As he put it "..we close down Philipines, Malaysia and Thailand, it's really bad...first time having this experience since i came out from the force. scary.."

Another friend who was undergoing training at Utah, USA told me earlier last week that their company was retrenching 100% of them from Singapore plant. At first i still have doubts that he could be exaggerating a little. 100% means shutting down the multi billion wafer fab! But the news came the next day : 800 workers retrenched after wafer fab plan collapse

Few weeks back, at a baby shower, friends in the manufacturing industry were already sharing the same sentiments, news that all point to the inevitable. A fren working in a wafer fab said they were running production without orders. Another, working with one major global manufacturer, lament that they were not seeing new projects coming in and the company is not renewing contract staff and had been quietly letting people go. Yet another one who was doing very well in his job but quitted to go on a 6 months break after working too hard for the past 7 years expressed that he was really worried now and has lowered his job search expectation.

A good friend working in the Human Resource department of an oil and gas company was also telling me she has just been tasked to update the company retrenchment policy in their company portal.

In fact, we read it in the news everyday.

In reality, this is happening all around me, including me.

Wow. We are entering a season of retrenchment.

Downsizing

Miscellaneous Update

Jasmine asked why i have not been updating my blog. What have i been up to. Well, things has got a bit busy over here.

Lots of situations, changes and activities in the company. In between the busyness, managed to squeeze out some time to go for a vacation to Shanghai and Beijing with a fren. It was an 8 days trip, an impromptu decision. Just suddenly felt like going away for a break.

The Great Wall of China

Me. :)

The Forbidden City

At the Tiananmen Square facing the entrace to the Forbidden City.

Then it's back to office and the beginning of a new quarter. More things cropped up and the numbers which was supposed to have been achieved now seem bleak. Some frustrations... but 受人钱财，替人消灾. What's there to complain? Just try my best and the rest 听天由命. So was in a frenzy and a few more weeks passed.

My yoga membership has expired this month but taking a new dance class this month. Hip hop Salsa. I learnt salsa before but this hip hop salsa really makes you feel clumsy. But i'm not complaining cos it's fun and i'm looking forward to the next lesson.

And then, there's a couple of weddings and baby shower and mom's birthday. Whatever time left is meant for sleep and tv and more sleep.

When the inappropriate gift troubles more than pleases

Someone i do not know well (but had known for many years) gave me a diamond pendant on my birthday.


I didn't realise what it was until much later as i had met him at my place carpark and had to rush off to meet a friend. It was much later when i met my friend that i had a chance to open the gift and it was too late to return him. I felt flattered for the thoughts but more so troubled.


It was an expensive gift and i do not know him well at all to deserve this.


Thanked him for the gift and chided him that it was too expensive and that now i have to buy him lunch.


I know gift giving is an act of kindness and it's rude to reject a gift when people meant well. Yet, i truly feel uncomfortable. I asked if i can return or pay him back which he refused. This is actually my first diamond pendant but i don't feel excited. Perhaps if it's from someone i like, i will be like over the moon. But it will not be because it's a diamond.


I found a bouquet of flowers when i reached home that night and it was from the same person. But I love flowers and it brought a smile to me.


Anyway, now this guy is asking when's our lunch and somehow i'm just feeling totally sianz. Sigh.

Honest folks at Dome cafe and some pics

My heart really dropped last night when i realised that i had left my new camera at Dome cafe @ Dempsey. The cafe was already closed for the day when i realised that my camera was missing. Hence, it was really nice to learn this morning that a waiter had found and returned the camera.

Just downloaded some pictures tested with the cam.

Here's the first pic, me at the electronics store where i bot my new cam.

A totally blurred picture took last night which i like anyway

And KwangMengSan, which i drop by on the way home today.

西界

今天, ipod 反复的播放这首你喜欢的歌.

林俊杰-西界

歌曲：西界

歌手：林俊杰 专辑：西界

阳光越过窗沿
我在阴影里面
才过正午13点
就漆黑一片
没有人看得见
我心深处的阴暗面
只能眺望东边
你的世界太远
撑到想象的极限
幸福有多甜
可黑夜已吞噬我

就是拉不到你的手
因为我活在西界
只拥有半个白天
一到午后夜色就蔓延
虽然和你面对面
却看不到我的脸
感觉到你不安的视线
在西界的那一边
只能有半个白天
暗自祈祷上天的垂怜
在长夜的边缘
给我一丝光线
让你能多看我一眼

The Little Prince chapter 21

"...So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . ."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added:

"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."

The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.

"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."

And the roses were very much embarrassed.

"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.

And he went back to meet the fox.

"Goodbye," he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret:

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

"

A Nice Weekend

It has been a nice relaxed weekend. Nothing spectacular, leisure, laid back but filled with a general sense of happy-ness. And three feel good sessions with 3 different frens.

Had planned to do some work over weekend to clear some backlogs and i'm glad i had the good sense to decide against it. Need to draw a line on work else will be too 对不起自己 liao.

I realise that we are all generally too busy, trying to squeeze more and more activities into less and less time. That we fail to slow down, to savour, to enjoy and appreciate, all the potential sources of happiness that is all around us.

Such as waking up naturally and not to the sound of alarm clock on a saturday morning, and nauwing comfortably in bed, in a semi dreamy state, listening to the sounds outside, thinking of whatever things that comes to mind.

Such as a good movie and catching up with a fren over a nice piece of chocolate walnut cake and reminiscing the past.

Such as doing nothing but just spending time at home. Letting mom fuss over you, making you a cup of coffee and chat and taking videos of mom for no reason but just for fun.

Such as meeting a sweet fren who comes fetch you and see you home and takes care of you, not for anything but just because that's the way he was brought up to treat a lady with chivalry.

Such as listening to stories of fren's recent vacations and being inspired to go on a trip soon too.

Such as spending some alone time hitting some golf balls at the driving range.

Such as spending some time with a dear fren who is based in states and going back soon.

Life is good.

Fund Manager Pays $2.1 million to lunch with Warren Buffet

NEW YORK, June 29, 2008 (Reuters) — A Chinese fund manager has won a lunch with famed U.S. investor Warren Buffett after bidding $2.11 million for the opportunity in a charity auction, more than three times what the lunch fetched last year. More details from this link. http://www.newsdaily.com/stories/n29460010-buffett-lunch/#

Would anyone pays me $200K for lunch?

I should go to bed now.

The problem with Being Single at 30

is that many people can’t wait to peddle any single guy they know to you. It is as if you are without choices. That any Tom, Dick or Harry would do for you, as long as the person is single.

They meant well of course. But such blind enthusiasm is often more an irritation than anything else. And it often happens with people who don’t know you well. Such as one kaypoh ex colleague, who once remarked, “Why don’t you consider XX. He not bad ma. All the gals here are either attached or married. You also not young anymore…”

I felt like telling her. “No thanks. I’m a lesbian.”

Of course I’m not a lesbian. But the point is, how do you know if a guy’s my type? You don’t even know me. How do you know if I’m not dating? Why must I be attached or be married at this age? What if I made the choice to come out of a long relationship, risking marriage plans and at an age where most of my peers would be looking to settle down because it works best for me? Why are you not single? It’s great to be single and without attachment? Why don’t you join our club?

I believe there are two sides to every coin. There are things I missed having someone and being in a relationship. But there are equally many things which I really appreciate being single at this point. I guess we all go through different phases and experiences in life, which shape where we are now and how we view and appreciate life, people and things around us at a particular point.

Only we know ourselves if we are better off or not. And we should respect others for the personal paths in life they took, whether it is to remain single, divorced, married, dedicated to work, religion, dreams, whatever.

I think it is pure rudeness to try to impose one's values upon others without knowing the person behind.

And I’ll like to end off here with this poem I used to recite to a dear fren of mine whenever he tried to tell me what he thought was best for me (who at least has the right to give advice being a good friend who knows you and have your interest at heart).

AFRICA’S PLEA
Roland Tombekai Dempster

I am not you –
But you will not
Give me a chance,
Will not let me be me.

“If I were you”
but you know
I am not you,
Yet you will not
Let me be me.

You meddle, interfere
In my affairs
As if they were yours
And you were me.

You are unfair, unwise,
Foolish to think
That I can be you,
Talk, act
And think like you.

God made me me.
He made you you.
For God’s sake
Let me be me.

He wrote " two and two is ten, the Moon is made of cheese and Christmas Day does not fall on December 25th.."

Meant to do a quick check of my emails and get down to complete some work tonight. Side tracked to read some news on channelnewsasia instead. Ended up googling on Gopalan Nair, the ex Singaporean lawyer and ex Workers Party election candidate who is now charged with "insulting a Singapore judge in his blog.."

Anyway, think i super jilat. rather do boliao thing than to do my work which is in dire need of my attention. Hmm. should i go to bed now or work a little to feel better. Hmmm...

Week of Friends from Afar

My zodiac forecast last week must have read "Expect friends from afar to visit this week."

Francois came and left last week.

He was here for work and wrote to me a few weeks before that we must catch up while he's here. It's really nice to see him again. But his schedule this time is really rushed. Arrived on Tuesday night and flying off on Fri, and in between, has gotta go Malaysia. But we did managed to squeeze in a dinner. But anyway, it was always a happy feeling whenever i see him. :)

We didn't have time to take some pictures. But here's some old pics to share.

Francois and me. Catching up at Dempsey.

Francois and Guillaume. That time when we drove up to Le Touquet from Abbeville to check out the "Parisan Beach" and they treated me a nice french dinner there.

Back in 2004.

And Kheryi called on Thursday that she's flying back! :)

We catch up on Sunday afternoon for lunch, coffee and more ice cream and we have so much to chat about. It was really great seeing her again. Still pretty much the silly gal. :) My dear silly happy pretty friend who always makes me laugh.

And a close fren from the past drop by on Mon night via sms to say hi. my ex..

"Hey hey..hw r u n ur new job? Settled down swee swee liao? Me just passed by tuas custom from Melaka. :). "

Photoaid 2008

Last sunday was quite meaningfully spent doing my little bit to help raise fund for the victims of Cyclone Nargis in Myanmar through the PhotoAid 2008 campaign, an initiative by volunteer photographers from Clubsnap.

Was rather tired by the end of the day but nevertheless felt rather good. And it was rather interesting too, observing the behaviour of people at the Merlion park, especially the different reactions and behaviours of tourists and visitors who were being approached to donate funds.

And here's some picture taken from Yunfen's camera...

Me "drinking" from the merlion fountain and Yunfen looking shock. haha

Jingshi and me

Jingshi, Yunfen and me.

And here's the group picture.

Best Risotto in Town

Normally, i'm not a fan of Risotto. However, Pasta Brava got me last night with their RISOTTO NERO ALLA SINFONIA DEI NOSTRIL MARI, squid ink risotto flavoured with white wine. It was really superb. Love it so much i have already made plans with another friend to visit the restaurant again. Yum yum..

The restaurant's located at Craig Road. And the ambience's nice too. Do check it out!

Buon appetito.

Speeding

I was driving on the first lane of BKE last week when i approached a yellow sports car ( may i add that it's really a Beng car with all the typical loud car decal) and had to slow down. "Wah liao!" i thought to myself. "Sports car and so Beng and still drive so slow...". I was rushing for time and the expressway was mostly clear so i changed lane and overtook him.

5 mins later, i noticed a police car following close. So i slowed down and moved to the second lane to let it pass, thinking it was rushing to somewhere. Maybe to catch Mas Selamat? But it did not pass but signalled me to pull over at the highway shoulder instead. That was when i realised i was in trouble.

Police officer: Miss, you have a driving license?

Me: Yes. I do. Why?

Police officer: Come, let me show you.

Thus he opened his car door and signalled for me to look at the speed the speeding detector in his car had recorded of my car. And hence i was told of the summon i should expect. 170 bucks fine plus 8 points deducted. I tried to plead and i thought the police officer had looked sympathetic..But in the end, he did not relent. "It's ok" he concluded. "You have 24 points to deduct from. Next time, drive safely." :(

I persisted and tried to reason why maybe i'm not really wrong. I explained that i wasn't driving dangerously; i was sticking to the same lane, focusing on the road and there wasn;t any car ahead. So relatively speaking, with no cars ahead, it's not exactly speeding. He said it would be worst if i were driving dangerously. And my speed was actually nearly reaching the limit for court summon. So it could be worst for me.

I tried to question him the reason for speed limit. "It's a relative thing isn't it? It's not that bad right? Considering the road condition, my speed was alright, Right?" "There's a reason for speed limit, Miss." "But why?" i insisted. Then i bite my tongue. Better not to argue with a police officer.

Later, as i resumed the rest of my journey to my destination, with a sunken heart and driving conscientiously within the speed limit, it dawned on me why the yellow Beng sports car was driving so slowly.

He must had the same experience before and perhaps didn't have much points left to deduct. Either that or he is smarter and had noticed the traffic police car and had actually recognized the car as THE traffic police car unlike dumb me whose mind only register traffic police with man in white on motorbike...

Today, i was driving within the speed limit of 90Kmh on the expressway when i was being honed by a vehicle closing behind me. But i didn't care. I continued at the same speed. The driver seemed frustrated and overtook me shortly. Perhaps the driver can still afford to speed. But I can't. Maybe one day, he will understand. But for today, i'll forgive him for honing me.

Drive Safe.