Thursday, August 11, 2005


Yesterday i felt so lonely. It just came suddenly. Though i dun think it's because i am here alone in Frankfurt, the cold weather here sure doesn’t help. So i checked the net to find out why one can feel so lonely like I do and I found some interesting articles. Below 2 links has the best to offer. One explains why one feels lonely and the another tells you how to fight it. Anyway, i dun feel lonely today.


Self-help methods for reducing loneliness:

Some Extracts:

* "Level V (unconscious factors): Jules Henry (1971) observed, "People are lonely because they are vulnerable and they are vulnerable because they are alone; they are vulnerable when they are without love and they are vulnerable when they have it." Almost everything that threatens us makes us aware of our aloneness. Example: the more we need others for protection (and the more we distrust our protectors), the lonelier we feel. So if we are threatened by an economic depression, by a collapse of our government, by the failure of Social Security, by war, by unemployment, we feel alone--we fear abandonment. Splitting with others over political, economic, social and other issues increases our aloneness. This may seem abstract, but Henry points out that we are vulnerable to failure every day. The fear of failure confronts us in school, at work, in sports, in love, etc. When we face failure--like taking a test--we are alone and we feel needy. When we run away from stress, we usually run alone..."

* "......But we will always be lonely because we need and want more from others than they can give..."

* “…understood that men were forever strangers to one another, that no one ever comes to really know any one... Which of us has known his brother? Which of us has looked into his father's heart?... Which of us is not forever a stranger and alone? ...we escape it (aloneness) never, no matter what arms may clasp us, what mouth may kiss us, what heart may warm us. Never, never, never, never, never..."

And i can remember so many instances when i felt this dreading feeling. Like this scene below:

We were mostly quiet,
all the way home where he gave me a ride
both were quiet
each in a world of his own
i miss him so much!
he was sitting just next to me
yet it feels so far........