Wednesday, September 22, 2010

A little chat with mom

Went over to my sister's place to keep my mom company the other day when my sister's family went out for some event.

I was chatting with my mom and teasing her that ain't she fortunate to have such a good daughter like i was when she commented out of the blue that "having a family is good", that she'll be happy if i can settle down. It was rather off angle from what we were originally chatting about but anyway i just replied that it's good only with the right person.

Normally, i do not like to talk about it and would usually appear slightly irritated and change topic. But that day, i decided to explain further to my mother what i think.

In my opinion, what's more important is whether i'm happy. And i was/ am. I'm happy and very much appreciative and contented with my life at this stage of my life. ( I should use "rather" but i felt "very", probably cos i'm taking a career break now. hehe) Happiness to me is not determined by some status or life milestone. It's not when one made that big paycheck, drove that big car or attained that married status. It's that general sense of happiness that one feels. And i feel that now. Of course, occasionally i may fall into moments of lows or sadness, but in a general sense, i am happy. :)

Sure, it would be great if i have someone to settle down with and i am not (i assured her) resisting either. But it would only be great with the right person and i would not be shortchanged even if i do not ever get married. I cited to her examples of people who were married but were not happy. People who in the end decided to divorce afterall, or those who stay married but miserable. Ultimately, what's important is how you feel inside, not whether you are this or not. So with that, i told her not to worry and ended the side track she brought up.

Indeed, i have instances of friends and my sister commenting how they envy me. The exciting lifestyle of a single gal, with all the possibilities and freedom to pursue all that she dreams of. Not having to deal with the demands as a mother or wife, or the mundaneness of family life. There's always two sides to a coin huh?

When we have this, we lose that (or some of that). We can't have it all. But it doesn't mean that we will be unhappy if we don't have this or that. We can look at the bright side and appreciate what we have instead of lamenting what we have missed (or think we missed). I believe that there is no one path to happiness.

Me and friends trying out "sister" dress for a friend's wedding. 
Hope everyone will find their own happiness. :D