I've been thinking why i have been feeling bothered by the fact that a girlfriend had not celebrated my birthday with me. I mean i have friends who also only just text me birthday wishes during my birthday and i was already very happy to just receive the text messages.
Yet, why do i feel weird/disappointed (i am not sure what's the right emotion...disappointed? hurt? pissed?) when this particular friend doesn't seem to bother that it was my birthday, only sending me a text and messaging me on fb at the END of the day of my birthday. When she doesn't bother to sign a birthday card someone else had prepared and ask her to signed on, did not initiate to go celebrate together, nor was free when another tried to fix a dinner session, yet at the same time, can ask you out to accompany her to go blading, a late night drink and hang out together overnight to study etc....all the while making no special mention about your birthday.. As if it's something invisible and insignificant.. And yet, true to heart, you know you have always been there or at least tried to be there when she needed help or a listening ear.
Then it dawned on me that, despite appearances to others, she is just treating me as a second tier friend. I'm just a friend to be used, not to be valued and I guess there will always be people who collect friends and people who make friends. My friends told me not to be bothered by this, that we can't control how others treat us and that i felt this way because friendship has to be reciprocal and especially since i get nothing out of the relationship, i should just walk away. I guess they are right.. Anyway, i have many other dear friends who had touched me and demonstrated through actions that they valued me and will be there for me. So actually, i am already very blessed. :)
I have thought it through and i realized that there's nothing you can do about how others treat you. However, you do have a choice to spend your time rightly with people who deserves it. Hence, i shall categorized my friendships accordingly as well - Close friends, dear friends, good friends, old friends, hanging out friends, fb friends and fair weather friends..
"Friendship is mutual reciprocity of affection and purpose."----Aristotle.
Yet, why do i feel weird/disappointed (i am not sure what's the right emotion...disappointed? hurt? pissed?) when this particular friend doesn't seem to bother that it was my birthday, only sending me a text and messaging me on fb at the END of the day of my birthday. When she doesn't bother to sign a birthday card someone else had prepared and ask her to signed on, did not initiate to go celebrate together, nor was free when another tried to fix a dinner session, yet at the same time, can ask you out to accompany her to go blading, a late night drink and hang out together overnight to study etc....all the while making no special mention about your birthday.. As if it's something invisible and insignificant.. And yet, true to heart, you know you have always been there or at least tried to be there when she needed help or a listening ear.
Then it dawned on me that, despite appearances to others, she is just treating me as a second tier friend. I'm just a friend to be used, not to be valued and I guess there will always be people who collect friends and people who make friends. My friends told me not to be bothered by this, that we can't control how others treat us and that i felt this way because friendship has to be reciprocal and especially since i get nothing out of the relationship, i should just walk away. I guess they are right.. Anyway, i have many other dear friends who had touched me and demonstrated through actions that they valued me and will be there for me. So actually, i am already very blessed. :)
I have thought it through and i realized that there's nothing you can do about how others treat you. However, you do have a choice to spend your time rightly with people who deserves it. Hence, i shall categorized my friendships accordingly as well - Close friends, dear friends, good friends, old friends, hanging out friends, fb friends and fair weather friends..
"Friendship is mutual reciprocity of affection and purpose."----Aristotle.
