Irony again... and more thoughts. :)

Some old memories came visit yesterday after some chats with my old friends from uni. Missed those good old days and felt a tinge of irony..

Irony is when you were the first couple in the group while the others were still trying to search for their love and yet today, both of you are still single, while the rest have all settled down..


Irony is when you don't meet nor stay in touch from the one from past life you tried to walk away from, yet he often will just quietly appear when he knows you are in trouble..


Irony is when, 当我学习了快乐是怎么去活在当下, to forget about the past and not to unduly worry over the future and to embrace 当下所有, 当下遇到的人却突然顾虑着the past and the future.

It's nice to reminiscence about the good old days and the nostalgic past once in while, people whom had made your life rich and helped shaped who you are one way or another along the way, the ones who brings a smile to you with their silliness, or the one who brought a tear (and who could because they had touched your heart in the first place..)

But the past is long gone...just like the person who looks into the future. Past and future are not at the present. I mustn't wait for tomorrow to be happy.. because tomorrow may never come anyway.. and who knows what happens right after you arrived where you dreamt of..things will still move.. Life is a constant flux. I shall just focus on staying happy, living in the moment, be kind, be compassionate and live a right life! :)

I'm really happy we can get to be reborn everyday! Heaven and hell is all in the thoughts and everyday is filled with new possibilities! :D

Ok. Time to go read the book my friend has lent me. So many books so little time!! But before that, some inspiration to share. :)

With metta
jean :)

One Day

One Day. I picked up this book while at the bookstore the other day and ended up reading the whole book at the store, and buying the book as a Christmas gift for a friend because it was really good.

The story was at times funny, at times sad, at times warm and often time, i felt a sense of nostalgia.. I guess for me personally, i was drawn to the story because it seemed to be like speaking to me.. it's like you are reading bits and pieces of your  story in a different story...and so you laughed and cried and get angry and felt the empathy for the characters as you turned the pages..

Some emotions and experiences are difficult to explain or tell others, and yet sometimes, along came a book and through it, you find some kind of validation through the story. 

Letter to Jean

Saw someone on the street with a splitting image of Jay today. It had been so many years since i last kept in contact with him. We have totally lost touch since i started uni while he continued his NS with the marine police. He was my senior in JC and stayed nearby. One day, we just started talking when we met while walking to school.. It was a short sweet puppy kind of affection i had for him. He had been special then. He was kind, soft spoken, Eurasian and looks alittle like the Singapore foreign soccer player Abba Saab. And he was the first person to write a poem for me. Till today, i still keep the letter in which he wrote the poem for me.

For: Zhuo YiJin




Letter to Jean,

The only moon in the dark night

The shining star twinkling bright

Such a wonderful sight

In this amazing night

Kind in heart and soul

Always to help the lesser

With efforts that you pour

To make their days brighter

Passion set inside yourself

A World. So filled with life

Enjoyment of this sacred life

As only you know how

Admiration for this gem

Long forth do i have to say

How special a person you are

Like diamonds and pearls so rare

Windows through this naked world

Provided by visions of your own

You know the value of living

Like living is what you do

Thanks for being the telescope

And the heart beater as well

For you are truly great

It's time that you know

Jay

3/5/95

In our journey of life, we meet countless of people who enters and leaves our life. Some leaves a mark, others are forgettable. And looking back, those who have left a footprint are those who have touched us, made a difference in our life, shared deep experiences and adventures together with us, and who had made the efforts to live in the moment and created the special memories for us to revisit. And these are the footprints that add colors and richness in our life. I hope i had left my footprints behind those who had taken the journey together with me at some point of my life too.

Ok. I'll end this entry with the attached powerpoint on life journey.

Meeting Ex for Lunch

Do you believe that there is energy in our thoughts? I suddenly dreamt of my ex today and woke up to find his sms. It was one of those forwarded smses to wish me good morning. We exchanged some messages and he suggested for us to meet for lunch. Wanna pass me the present he had got for me for my birthday.

It was nice meeting him again. He’s still the same and we chatted like old frens…our work, his mom and sisters, my mom and family, friends we both knew, my life in Europe etc. It was like old friends who had not met for a long long time. He still treats me like he used to, buying food for me, asking me if I wanna try his drinks, folding the tissue paper for me….

When he asked if anyone bullied me at work, I suddenly felt like crying. Dunno why, maybe these few days had been feeling blue and things happening at work had not been particularly helpful. But I just smile. I must be strong.

Anyway, the carrot cake at AMK was really nice. I really appreciate the cheap and nice food we have in Singapore!

I think I am quite vain. Cos I have been feeling quite cheerful the whole day after he remarked to me in a sms that I have grown prettier. Heehee.

Moving On

22nd August 2005

去年的今天

我生日的第二天

我与他分手了

想了很久, 才做了那个决定

不是因为他又是有事, 不能为我庆祝

而是, 想了很久, 努力了很久, 累了

事业, 真的那么重要吗, 要那么忙吗?

感情, 真的还在吗?

我, 还存在吗?

Somebody

Heard this song today while playing an old CD compilation of my favourite songs. Somebody by Depeche Mode. It's funny how some music always brings back memories of a certain period of your life. Some one from long ago used to sing this song to me.

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who’ll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She’ll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She’ll hear me out
And won’t easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she’ll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who’ll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don’t want to be tied
To anyone’s strings
I’m carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I’m asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I’ll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

Remembering

去年的这个时候， 我与他分手了

因为大家都变了, 也不能回到从前了

然而, 有许都的回忆,依然佑新

我记得大二那年, 初见的那一幕

记得下课后,一起散步回宿舍的那一幕

记得第一次,他唱歌给我听的那一幕

记得考试期间, 不读书 反而坐在SRC,聊到天亮的那一幕

记得我俩初吻的那一幕

记得他说爱我的那一幕

记得第一次分手难过得不能呼吸

记得坐在 President Lodge 的梯极一起看星星的那一幕

记得他很认真的对我说认识我是他来南大最大的收获

记得他对我说我是他的Little Princess可爱的那一幕

记得他常为我炒的爱心炒饭

记得他给我取的那么多外号

记得喜欢静静的看着他

记得很快乐很快乐过

记得很难过很难过

记得突然发现他变了的那天

记得发现自己好象也变了的那个早上

记得无数次的分手

记得无数次的不舍得

记得很寂寞很寂寞过

记得说过很伤人的话

记得每次"争执", 他都是静静的那个表情

记得分手那天

记得 很多很多