Friday, April 1, 2011

Happy

Happy is when your ex teammates ask you to come back to lead the team and they will fully support you in the role. :)

It feels good even when you are not at all keen. :)

平安就是幸福

My colleague announced to everyone during his hole-in-one dinner treat this evening of the amount i have donated to our company employee Japan Tsunami Relief fund (the company had donated an amount separately) which just started yesterday. It was the highest among the collection so far. I was a little paiseh when asked to say something. I had actually prepared the cheques (my mother and mine )since 2 weeks ago for Singapore Red Cross but had been kept busy i always ended up postponing to the next day. So when the initiative and request came, i conveniently passed my cheques which had been sitting in my handbag to our department secretary. 

So i was asked if i have a boyfriend or relative in Japan or if i had any reason for the donation amount. I said cos i don't have a million dollar (like the rich girl in the newspaper headline) so i donated this amt which i am comfortable with. Actually, I just feel very sorry for the people of Japan and the state of destruction they have to witness and go through and live with. We are truly very fortunate not having to go through such disasters.. Really, 就是幸福..


And when you think about all the problems we face in our daily life, work stress, relationship problems, money problems etc, they all pale and seem so minute against the life and death disasters this nation has to go through.


I hope everyone can live in a peaceful world.


My 小红

A colleague commented recently that it's time i switch to a new car. " Buy a bigger nicer car.. and no red color..." he offered his well intended advice. "Thanks for the advice, but no thanks..", i countered.

I think my little red car has served me well for the past 5-6 years. It's really 麻雀虽小, 五脏俱全. For me, the purpose of a car is to transport me from point A to point B. I don't need help from the size and make of a car to tell the world how successful i am (not to mean that i am so successful though) or feed my ego further. Nor am i someone who is passionate about cars and will appreciate all the outstanding performance etc of a good car. My colleagues occasional lunch-time conversations on cars does still confuses me! haha!

But i love my 小红. It went through many ups and downs with me. It was an impromptu purchase..but nevertheless a purchase i have never regretted. It accompanied me through the period when i just returned Singapore from Europe, trying to start my life afresh, trying to move on with my life, healing a broken heart while having to smile hard at the world and pretended that i was happy.

It was a transition from times in the past when i was without car and enjoyed privileges of  ex or friends with cars coming to fetch me to a time of empowerment. Of being independent, and free and alone..

It was with me during the few occasions when despite myself, the tears would drop as i drove myself home and i  was grateful that no one was around...just me in my little red car. Times when i just sat with myself inside the car, not knowing where to go. It was there during times when i was dating hard (or trying to date hard), thinking that that was the best way to stop loving someone...

It was there too during the numerous happy times when i engaged in happy activities with my friends. Happy drives chatting with friends and driving towards activities i enjoyed that keep my life active and fulfilled. Funny adventures and mishaps i encountered, and the many traffic offences and stories i made along the way too. It was there too, at times when i suddenly have some bright enlightened thoughts while i was on the wheels. :)

These past few years had been a healing, growing and transformative period for me. I feel wiser, more contented and generally happier... and my 小红 had been there through it all, like a loyal steadfast friend..